Life Lessons in the Gym

 Most who don’t go to the gym may see it as a sweaty bunch of muscle-heads grunting and boosting their egos. What they miss are the life lessons we learn there. We do not talk about or share the philosophical workings of these lessons. These messages become imprinted upon us.

 

I take the time to point the out to my sons as we train together and learn from each other. These lessons are transferrable. That is, they are as effective outside the gym as they do inside it.

 

Goal Setting

Michigan State University sees goal setting as a life skill. a skill that for navigating those waters of life. Knowing how to set and achieve goals is not an innate skill. This skill is either taught or learned the hard way. It can also get learned under the watchful eye of a parent, a teacher or some other mentor in the gym.

 

Goal setting begins with the end in mind. It is seeing an idea and figuring out how to get there. You learn how to do research and apply the information you found. You learn to break your tasks into steps that are both attainable and measurable. You learn about eating well and resting as part of this process.

 

 Iron plates may not instruct you directly. An internet search will find you this mnemonic, SMART-goals. Your goals will
have to be Specific, Measurable, Attainable/Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound. How this applies to lifting is the person be it you, me, the lug next to us will decide to squat a certain weight. Let’s say I want to get my squat back up to 405 pounds by the end of July and I will start May 2nd. I am coming back from a back injury and will start my squat at 275 for 4 sets of 8 repetitions.

 

This gives me 3 months to grow enough strength and flexibility to gain 130 pounds in strength. Is this Specific? Yes! How about Measurable? It very much is measureable. Time bound? Without a doubt it is time-bound. How about realistic? This may not be realistic. Getting my working load to 360 or 375 pounds from 275 in three months is more realistic and safer than 405 pounds.

 

How does this translate into life outside the gym? Lifting weights teaches understanding that gains, progress, gets done in small steps. These steps get seen through increasing repetitions over workouts. It also teaches to accept disappointment. These lessons are painstakingly logged and tracked in a lifter’s logbook. One small step at a time, John Bytheway is the source of this quote.

 

“Inch by inch, life’s a cinch. Yard by yard, life’s hard.”

 

Take a look in our logs. You will see numbers increasing by twos and threes over workouts, sometimes leaping up by six or so at a time. You will see the weights used increase occasionally and the repetitions drop again. Then, the reps will start to climb again. This is the embodiment of inch by inch. You will also see something else.

 

The numbers do not climb consistently.  Some days the numbers drop for no obvious reason. We can eat and rest to fuel our recovery to the highest degree and sometimes still not get the expected results. There are times the workout will show lower numbers than what we expected, lower than what “should” be. This brings to mind the TV series Star Trek the Next Generation. Captain Picard explained to Wesley Crusher something exceedingly important for life. The exact quote is;

 

“It is possible to commit no errors and still lose. That is not a weakness, that is life.”

 

Not hitting expectations is also disappointment. It is also part of life. A large part of life that hurts. How do we deal with it? Pitch a fit? Throw weights around the gym? Kick dumbbells? No. You will also see someone writing down their numbers and resolving to try hard and do better the next time.

 

Most lifters shake it off, go on to their next exercise, and keep going. If you see this person at that exercise on their next workout you will see them overcome their setback. You will note the broad smile, the taller stance. You will see their peace in their accomplishment. If it is you, then you will know best what this is all about. You will have grown inside and out in more ways than one.

Daily life, work projects, and studying use goal setting as a skill. Lifting a new weight, hitting a new bodyweight, entering a physique competition or a lifting competition are all admirable goald. As are bringing in a project on time and within budget, finishing a school project, and earning a new position in a company. Setting goals and tracking progress are skills learned in the gym that transfers to all areas of life. Recognize that inside all us there is hope. We need strength to achieve this hope. Strength comes not from adversity, rather from the quiet moments of peace after the adversity. Recovery between workouts, between study session, and after those killer session is where we build our strength.

 

Perseverance

Motivation can get you started. Motivation can light a fire in your belly. Motivation damn sure feels good. Here’s the kicker, it is short lived.

 

Motivation will not get you through when things get tough and disappointing. Things will hit low levels during your workouts as in life. Dedication to your goal will get you there. Determination to achiever your goal will see you through your low points and moments of pain. Motivation does not do these things..

 

Motivation gets defined as the reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way. Understand it as the general desire or willingness to do something. Dedication is being committed to a purpose, to a goal. Determination is firmness, resoluteness of purpose.

Don’t get me wrong, I use a plethora of motivational tools. My playlist is hours of heavy metal and classic rock that is nothing but heart pounding music. Even this list will lose its drive if I listen to it all the time.

 

When I get to the core lifts at the squat rack, on the benchpress, or at the deadlift grinding out rep after rep and my muscles are screaming in pain it is not the music I hear. No. I dig in for the next rep because of dedication and determination. The need to achieve the goal kicks in. So long as I can use good form and move the weight through the full range of motion I will do so. Muscular pain and discomfort notwithstanding, it is achievement of the next rep that matters. It is the end goal that is all important.

 

How does this single-mindedness fit real life? How does it not? Studying all night for tests, working through the hardest parts of a relationship when quitting would be easier, getting a project at work done on time and to standard are areas in which dedication and determination come in. Raising children is nothing short of dedication and determination.

 

Dedication, it is commitment to a purpose or to a goal. Envision the end result you crave. Commitment means that you are willing to do whatever is necessary to get there.

Whatever is necessary may be digging deep into your inner self to find that oomph you need to finish. Finishing your mile faster than the day before of two more reps. It may mean doing that all-nighter for the test or class project. It may mean extra hours at work for that project. You have that capacity in you already, but have not yet tapped into it. That last rep may be what you need to tap into your reservoir.

 

In whatever way it manifests, you dig deep and find what is needed to hit that mark. It shows in your logbook for your training. It shows in your grades as you get invited to join the Honors Society. It shows as your team at work leads the way and you get raise after raise.

 

You Are Tougher than You Think You Are

In the military, Special Forces get taught the 20x factor. This is the fact that we are all capable of 20 times more than we think we are. It’s one of the defining features between Special Forces and conventional forces. They have learned to operate on a regular basis beyond that 20x barrier.

Just an elite few will ever know what it feels like to come to to operate in their 20x factor. I assure you that you can and will find it lying on a bench with one hundred pounds and more at arms-length over your chest. You will find it when you shoulder the weight at the squat rack. Something will click deep inside your mind the instant you grab hold of that bar to begin your deadlifts. The lights will go on in that storeroom where you keep your 20x. You will need to look around for it, but it is in there and you will find it.

 

I’ve spent night after night struggling to make gains against those weights. As have countless other lifters. Like those countless others, one might lay down on that bench and heft the weight and crank out the reps. Sooner or later it will go as if there were nothing on the bar. You will find yourself asking your spotter if they shorted the weight.

 

Acceptance of the 20x is an epiphany. Finding where your limits actually are is broadening and enlightening. It frees you to operate at higher levels, much higher levels than you conceived of before. Figuring out how to carry this factor into other areas of your life might be the kicker. Though, it may flow naturally.

 

This awareness cannot exist within a vacuum. It oozes into other aspects of your life. This awareness permeates your person and personality. It changes who you are and how you project yourself. It changes how others perceive you. You walk differently, taller than you did before. Your unconscious, your subconscious, knows you differently now. It has seen you in a new light and it cannot unsee you. You will begin to see you in a new light. The dynamic you are seeing is the Cognitive Triangle.

 

The Cognitive Triangle encompasses your thoughts, behaviors, and feelings. These are in an intertwined and inseparable Mobius strip. Your thoughts tell you how to feel. This is how your conscious and unconscious mind feels, how you feel comes out in your behavior whether you want it to or not. Unless you are acutely aware of your behavior and have developed strong self-control how you feel about yourself comes out in your actions and words. Your behavior reinforces your thoughts. This is, in a nutshell, the Cognitive Triangle. It is self-supporting and can be either self-defeating to you or self-empowering. This is your mind and it will tell you what you want it to.

 

Your unconscious drives 95% of your conscious thoughts. Your unconscious mind now knows that you are stronger than you thought you were. Now, you have to live up to that and you will. You will become stronger still. That 20x factor is beginning to take hold. You are seeing that you are, in fact, stronger than you gave yourself credit for. In the mirrors lining the gym you see yourself lifting weights that consciously confounded you earlier. Hey! Your mind and brain See your physical success. This means that your subconscious sees it, also.

This strength will carry over into all other aspects of your life. With or without your permission, this strength will enter into and improve how you stand, how you carry yourself, how you move through life, work, and other relationships. You know what you can handle in the gym. You know that you can get through the pain. Your mind is prepared to push through the hard spots and still function. Your subconscious just needs an opportunity to apply this strength elsewhere. Your subconscious is hungry for that opportunity. Grab that opportunity as if you were about to lift it off the rack and give it all you have.

 

Go lift. Go run. Go swim. Go move your body and become a better person for the experience.